The Walk

Last night, my friend Elaine and I were driving back from a weekend visit with my kids and their families in Iowa. About a mile from my house, two deer bolted in front of my car and we struck and killed them both. My first thought, after reporting the accident, was to get on my knees and give thanks to the Lord for keeping us from harm. My old chevy is beyond repair, but we were both unhurt and I still have my old pick-up truck, so I’m not totally afoot.

This morning, in the brilliant sunlight, I could see just how miraculous our deliverance indeed was. The snub-nose and aerodynamic design of Elaine’s Honda would have brought at least one of those deer straight through its windshield. Had that happened, I doubt either of us would have survived, and we definitely wouldn’t have walked away from the accident.

I had just had a lot of mechanical work done on my old chevy and was proud of the way it looked and drove. I wanted to drive it to Iowa, rather than taking the Honda even though it has more amenities and gets much better gas mileage. I wanted to show it off to my kids. I was very proud of it, and now it’s a total financial loss. Its only value was sentimental, and that was far greater than the dollars spent to renew it.

A week ago, I would have still gotten down on my knees and given thanks to God for our deliverance. But I would have grieved my loss. The financial loss is a severe one to my fragile purse, but the sentimental one is far greater. That old chevy was the last new car my Dad bought before he went to be with the Lord.

A week ago, I would have asked, “Why me Lord?” You see, ten years ago I quit my job of many years and ‘stepped out in faith’, armed only with a small savings account and my faith in God. I had survived a years-long struggle with mental illness and flourished in my career despite this major problem. God brought me through that. I thought I was tempered steel and could withstand any amount of trial and tribulation. I was ready to do something for the Lord. Something to which I knew He would lead me. Something which didn’t require psychotropic drugs, which were a condition of my continued employment. I didn’t realize what trial and tribulation was. I wasn’t tempered steel. I was only a Baby-Christian, still with much to learn.

Since I stepped out in faith, my life has been one calamity after another. Financial, career, and health. My struggle with mental illness has been replaced by a struggle with a severe, inoperable heart condition. A week ago, after this accident, I would have sunk a little further into depression, a little further into wondering when would I be delivered, when would I find whatever He is leading me to? I was beginning to feel like Job. That was a week ago.

Today, I realize the Lord is just pruning me. I marvel at the lives of my children. They are blossoming in every way. They are living their lives and fulfilling their dreams, and this was never clearer to me than this weekend. And I marvel at even this latest calamity to befall their old Dad. And I thank the Lord for yet one more object lesson of His mighty grace.

You see, last week I began reading “Walk the Walk by Faith”, a wonderful new book by Mike Ratliff. And I understand these things a little better today, thanks to this “spirit inspired” book.

So, though my body may be as dented and dinged, as bruised and battered as my old Chevy. I’m not living on “borrowed time”, the way the doctors suggest. I’m living on Purchased Time. Blood-bought time given me by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and through my acceptance of His “Yoke”. And doctors, there’s nothing wrong with my heart. It’s solid gold. Made perfect by His sacrifice. For my burden truly has been light.